Today's rant: Fat people.

Now, I'm not talking about the happy fat people. Some of the most beautiful people I know are overweight. One of the sweetest, smartest, most talented and beautiful people I know is positively Rubinesque. And that's fine. If you're content with your weight, and aren't complaining, good. If you're seriously trying to lose weight, power to you and the best of luck. But no, I'm talking about the sorry fat bastards who bitch and moan all the time.

Item number one. FAT IS NOT A HANDICAP! If you are so overweight that you get a -handicapped- sticker for your car, you need to be euthanized. Fat people should park FURTHER from the doors, not closer! And being fat is -not- an excuse to get a motorized wheelchair. If you're honestly that fat and lazy, you need to either get surgery to remove a few hundred pounds of butter, or be deep-fried in your own lard.

Item number two. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING FAT. 'Oh, but it's so haaard to lose weight!' No shit, Sherlock. Suck it up and go on a diet and do some exercise! Hell, if nothing else, next time you waddle into McDonald's, order a salad and a water instead of a bag full of grease. Or! Better yet! Go low on price and high on flavor by -MAKING YOUR OWN SALAD-! Yes, that's right, you too can pour pre-shredded lettuce in a bowl and throw three croutons on top! Just go light on the salad dressing-- 1 generous serving usually equals 2 tbsp, comprende? Remember you want more salad than salad dressing.

Now go away and stop whining at me about the fact that your knees hurt. They weren't designed to carry a freaking -horse-.

Skinny people, I'm coming after you next.